i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
