We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
