alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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