I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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