dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Randomize
