doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
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I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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