great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hippo gnu deer
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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