i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
