It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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