If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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