You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
