From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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