oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
