I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
