Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
