OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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