So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
