You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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