I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize