look no pants
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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