if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize