Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
