I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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