You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
