His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
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Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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