I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
