He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
