I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
