We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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