Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
