ya dads aren't the best wingmen
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
