LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize