therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Randomize
