North Korea, Best Korea!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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