do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
