you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize