Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
