Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
