the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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