Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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