absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize