Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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