We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
