im about as happy as oj after his trial
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
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You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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