i permit you to call me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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