bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize