I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
