We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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