Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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(508): I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man. http://tfl.nu/yrla

Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (2057)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl

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(504): He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl http://tfl.nu/0j8b

Replies (15) Good night (852) Bad night (2470)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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(610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8

Replies (16) Good night (4740) Bad night (1300)
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(513): View more from Ohio

So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.

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(513): So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks. http://tfl.nu/ufdq

Replies (19) Good night (2390) Bad night (1021)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing

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(270): So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing http://tfl.nu/i92f

Replies (5) Good night (1562) Bad night (683)
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(941): View more from Florida

We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.

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(941): We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships. http://tfl.nu/x14j

Replies (5) Good night (2927) Bad night (828)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.

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(724): This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends. http://tfl.nu/8qq1

Replies (12) Good night (2080) Bad night (680)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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(580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs

Replies (7) Good night (1187) Bad night (561)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.

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(720): Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there. http://tfl.nu/6pek

Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (383)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse

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(651): I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse http://tfl.nu/8kf4

Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (1081)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.

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(412): I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all. http://tfl.nu/l8qc

Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (500)
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(630): View more from Illinois

This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?

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(630): This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite? http://tfl.nu/a887

Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (365)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.

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(647): Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms. http://tfl.nu/bqwg

Replies (5) Good night (664) Bad night (328)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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(720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv

Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (268)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...

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(609): You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright... http://tfl.nu/5odl

Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (489)

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