dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to