Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (7024) Bad night (1278)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed

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  (205): I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed http://tfl.nu/lr4z
  Replies (18) Good night (2160) Bad night (4039)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?

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  (509): Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"? http://tfl.nu/n4zp
  Replies (22) Good night (1469) Bad night (7717)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?

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  (248): Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning? http://tfl.nu/u220
  Replies (16) Good night (7667) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

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  (334): Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true. http://tfl.nu/jgul
  Replies (11) Good night (2222) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground

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  (209): come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground http://tfl.nu/qcj8
  Replies (13) Good night (957) Bad night (2426)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

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  (203): nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night. http://tfl.nu/ahny
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (1738)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone

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  (207): I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone http://tfl.nu/crvf
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (1319)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?

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  (512): I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/sh8w
  Replies (13) Good night (1346) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character

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  (920): He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character http://tfl.nu/qsh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1660) Bad night (556)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?

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  (816): Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere? http://tfl.nu/bbd7
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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  (405): Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on http://tfl.nu/n0jv
  Replies (4) Good night (285) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.

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  (314): Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame. http://tfl.nu/omwv
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...

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  (858): Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well... http://tfl.nu/bcmp
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again

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  (647): I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again http://tfl.nu/rpy9
  Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (125)

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