sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
