I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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