2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
