That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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