Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
