I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
