i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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