This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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