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Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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