My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
