I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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