any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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