I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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