so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
