I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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