Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
