It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
