how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
