i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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