Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
