Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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